Next Stop: Maryland 

Late last night I learned of a wonderful egg inspection program run by the state of Maryland. Hats off to the heroes keeping the fine people of Maryland safe from sub-par eggs. I thought I’d check it out for myself, so I hopped in the kayak and off to Maryland I went!

  

Unfortunately due to my lack of foresight, I was unable to speak to anyone because government egg programs are closed on Sundays. Since I rowed all this way, I decided to book a room for the night. The good news is, I made it before the complimentary breakfast closed up for the day. 

  

Although nice, I’m beginning to think my dream egg won’t be found in a Motel 6. Still… I’m ready to begin my day and resume the hunt…

A Minor Setback 

I’ve just received some disturbing news regarding an egg shortage. It seems as though it’s been a particularly bad avian flu season. One can only assume this has something to do with those silly antivaxxers. Live and let live is what I always say, but this hits close to home. 

More info here.

On to Plan B…

My attempt to track down the Norwegian pigeon egg was a colossal failure. As luck would have it, I was unable to afford the plane ticket, and requests to secure the egg in question by mail have so far gone unanswered. 

I will not be deterred. I found a lovely bodega just south of the airport, who’s patrons were nice enough to pool their money together and provided me with this egg sandwich:

  
This is definitely not the egg I’ve dreamt about all these years, but a good beginning none the less!

Onward Ho! More to come soon. 

The Search Begins!

Where to begin? I suppose March… 13th… 1981. In their haste to get to the hospital, my parents leave the lights on in what was to become my room, which they had been prepping. The lights would remain on for three days. Perhaps this one careless decision brings us to right now. I’ll explain…
There are two inevitable consequences to leaving your lights on for a prolonged period of time:

  1. Your electric bill will be higher than necessary.
  2. The blobs of colored wax in your lava lamp will blend together. They will meld. Intertwine. They will be forever changed.

  

 For 15 years I gazed at the brilliant yellow and white dance while drifting off to sleep.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that you couldn’t quite pinpoint? Couldn’t quite shake? A calling? Higher purpose…

 

Tomorrow morning our search begins.