A Surprising Turn of Events

Greeting egg fans! Chef Paul Samber here with some unexpected news. 
  
As many of you are aware, I’ve spent the week in Austin, TX on egg collection. My efforts were unsuccessful and I’ve returned empty handed. 

However upon my return I was greeted by a viscous beast, seemingly guarding a mystery batch of the most beautiful eggs I’ve ever seen. 

I’ve tamed the hellacious creature, and have escaped the battle intact. 
An update on the egg quality is soon to come. 
Chef Paul Samber signing out. 

Back In Action!

Good morning egg fans! It brings me great sadness to confirm that the media speculation was true. A few weeks ago, in the midst of an early celebration of Canada day involving my patented explosive egg salad, I was involved in a minor accident while stuffing yolks into a mortar, which has briefly put me out of commission. The good news is that I’ve completely regained the use of my tongue, and my medical team has ensured a complete recovery.

I’d like to thank everybody for the outpouring of concern and support. While I can’t reach out to everyone individually because of the sheer volume of cards, emails, and singing telegrams, I want you all to know how deeply touched I am. I especially want to thank the Vancouver Green Men for their visit, which I believe has kicked my healing process in to overdrive.

Spirits are high, and the search resumes shortly!!!

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Next Stop: Maryland 

Late last night I learned of a wonderful egg inspection program run by the state of Maryland. Hats off to the heroes keeping the fine people of Maryland safe from sub-par eggs. I thought I’d check it out for myself, so I hopped in the kayak and off to Maryland I went!

  

Unfortunately due to my lack of foresight, I was unable to speak to anyone because government egg programs are closed on Sundays. Since I rowed all this way, I decided to book a room for the night. The good news is, I made it before the complimentary breakfast closed up for the day. 

  

Although nice, I’m beginning to think my dream egg won’t be found in a Motel 6. Still… I’m ready to begin my day and resume the hunt…

A Minor Setback 

I’ve just received some disturbing news regarding an egg shortage. It seems as though it’s been a particularly bad avian flu season. One can only assume this has something to do with those silly antivaxxers. Live and let live is what I always say, but this hits close to home. 

More info here.

On to Plan B…

My attempt to track down the Norwegian pigeon egg was a colossal failure. As luck would have it, I was unable to afford the plane ticket, and requests to secure the egg in question by mail have so far gone unanswered. 

I will not be deterred. I found a lovely bodega just south of the airport, who’s patrons were nice enough to pool their money together and provided me with this egg sandwich:

  
This is definitely not the egg I’ve dreamt about all these years, but a good beginning none the less!

Onward Ho! More to come soon. 

The Search Begins!

Where to begin? I suppose March… 13th… 1981. In their haste to get to the hospital, my parents leave the lights on in what was to become my room, which they had been prepping. The lights would remain on for three days. Perhaps this one careless decision brings us to right now. I’ll explain…
There are two inevitable consequences to leaving your lights on for a prolonged period of time:

  1. Your electric bill will be higher than necessary.
  2. The blobs of colored wax in your lava lamp will blend together. They will meld. Intertwine. They will be forever changed.

  

 For 15 years I gazed at the brilliant yellow and white dance while drifting off to sleep.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that you couldn’t quite pinpoint? Couldn’t quite shake? A calling? Higher purpose…

 

Tomorrow morning our search begins.